War

“For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.”

Sun Tzu

Occasionally (rarely) when you`re out meeting women you will encounter whom I like to call “Scarcity Man.” Like a lonely and frightened bear in the forest, Scarcity Man, when threatened by your awesomeness may challenge you, cock block you, insult you, and even physically harm you. If he was the leader of his cave man tribe, he would kill you.

This guy has no understanding of social dynamics or female attraction psychology. He tends to act jealous, possessive, needy, supplicative, and generally fucking lame around women he likes.

They believe that jealousy acted out displays loyalty and bravado. They believe their vocal harpings will demonstrate wit and strength, when in fact, it betrays insecurity, fear and doubt. None of which are attractive qualities.

An abundant man does not fear loss. He embraces it, and thus, defeats the possibility of failure for everything is nothing and nothing is perfect.

The personality (cult) of Scarcity Man…

There are two types you should be most concerned with:

1. The Passive Whiner

“Anyone who has declared someone else to be an idiot, a bad apple, is annoyed when it turns out in the end that he isn’t.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

Remember that if you met this guy in any other social situation, he would probably be a nice guy. He hasn’t studied the ego and his mind is sickly rampant, terrorized with unconscious, fearful self-chatter. His friends know this, including the girl you were talking to before he douched you out.

Maybe he smokes pot and plays xbox, or goal tends for his local soccer team. He’s had a crush on the girl you are flirting with for just over three months to three years and still hasn’t acted on it.

He believes they share a “deep connection.” She calls him her “best friend” but doesn’t know that her best friend wanks to her Facebook photos.  (This is a wide generalization for educational purposes. Always try to envision your assailant as human, with human flaws, and not as the soulless enemy).

The Passive Whiner will make a hissy fit in front of the girl. He’ll pout and complain with his body language. He will puff himself up. He will poke comments at your clothing, your hair, and seek out your insecurity. He wants you to get upset, to give him a reason to hate you.

2. The Aggressive Asshole

“A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.”

Bruce Lee

The aggressive asshole is usually physically large, and if you mock him you run the risk of a broken nose. If you’re in a bar and this guy starts messing with you, look around for the nearest bouncer and back off. Honestly, if the guy is that unstable it’s really not worth it just to chat up some girls. Save your pride. I used to get lippy with these guys and it never lands you the girl.

The Aggressive Asshole may be seeing her, or maybe not.  However the guy is extremely jealous, needy, frustrated, and jacked up.

He likes to fight. It’s what he does best and you just gave him a reason to demonstrate his skills to his buddies. Unless you are a seasoned combat vet you will probably lose.

Scarcity Man Coping Strategies

“A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.”

Oscar Wilde

I’m assuming your goal is to either win the girl or escape with all of your functioning limbs. If your mission is to engage in violent combat, then by all means, practice your art. I’m a sportsman and fan of martial arts, but not a gladiator myself.

Your goal is to meet women, and as many as possible. Running into scarcity man is inevitable. The Passive Whiner is usually easy to deal with; you simply hold your ground, disregard, or charm him. The Aggressive Asshole actually has a superior cock block strategy because you can’t charm a fist.

For Sparta!!!

Inside all men is a latent warrior yearning to prove his worth on the glorious field of combat. The club is not the place for war. All victory through combat is won through loss and misery. War should not be driven by emotion, only by ultimate need. The emotional and unconscious fighter loses more battles than the articulate, well-rehearsed, trained, calm and strategy driven soldier.

Hold your frame. Don’t be angry, negative, or reactive. Maintain strong eye contact, do not show fear, doubt or indecision. Do not act apologetic. Any sign of weakness will provoke attack, as will any sign of aggression. Be a rock.

Take the insults as if he wants to be your friend and isn’t quite sure how to facilitate this desire. “Love thy enemy” doesn’t mean you are a wimp. It means you are wise, confident, and deep.

You can either attempt to transfer your calm, social state to his, or you can intimidate him. Intimidation is not really my style, although I have lost it in the past, snapped. In fact, being dissed at a bar led me to write this article. I almost got into a fight and it would have been absolutely pointless in doing anything other than having me banned from one of my favourite clubs.

Does this mean you are backing down or fleeing? Hell no. Being willing to take a hit is as admirable as dishing them out. Defending your values is much different than defending your ego’s values.

Deploy Your Defences

The key is to pre-empt the cock block. Scope out your girl and watch the body language of her friends. Is that dude her boyfriend? Whenever possible, win over the men before hitting on their women. It’s really easy; just smile at the guy and “cheers” him. Or ask “Cool hat. Where did you get it?” Most guys get pretty stoked on this and will open up, buy you drinks, and introduce you to their friends.

In most cases the cockblock will attack after the approach. This is why the question “Who are you here with?” is so useful. This will allow you to determine if she actually has a boyfriend. If it’s her real bf, I suggest you respect that. Be cool with him. Get her to introduce you to her other friends. Charm them.

Some guys will say “That’s my girlfriend” when in fact they are lying. Most guys that have hot girlfriends won’t need to walk around announcing it. In fact, this sort of behavior is very unattractive to women.  So it’s a dead giveaway he’s lying.

If a guy threatens to get violent, let it go. It’s not worth it. I’m not willing to fight over a random girl I met in a bar. These guys are usually just looking for a scrap and many guys have been stabbed and beaten for much less. Be polite, move on to greener pastures.

With experience you’ll be able to tell when a guy is actually dating the girl he’s “protecting.” Really, why is that guy bringing his girlfriend to a meat market? If he’s acting like this, he probably won’t keep that girl for very long.

If a guy is a really good cockblocker, he probably isn’t a Scarcity Man. An abundant man will engage the potential suitor with open arms. He will bring him into the fold and dominate him with abundant positive energy. You are in his realm and the women see this. What woman would jump off the visible leader to a random bar guy? Why would they risk losing an Alpha male for a random, possibly needy Scarcity Man?

Like everything experience is key. In the cold approach pickup game you’ll meet tons of great people, and the occasional jerk. Never take anything personally. They don’t know you, you don’t know them. Don’t feed the troll and always stay positive. Hold your ground and never provoke attack. If the guy backs down, carry on with the girls. If he doesn’t, I’m sorry…move on. Accept the loss as a learning experience.

Insert quarter. Play again.

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