5 Big Mistakes When Texting Girls

Isn’t it frustrating to meet a hot girl, find the guts to approach her, get her number, only to have it all fall apart in the what to text her phase? It feels like you just got “so close” and then… nothing. Failure. Back to the drawing board. 

Most guys are terrible at texting. They want to know how to text a girl. They make the same mistakes over, and over, wasting their time and getting zero results. I know because they ask me all the time asking how they can improve their results with texting. 

Note, this is not an article about online dating. This is assuming you’ve met a girl in real life already, got her number, and now you’re texting. 

So I’m going to share with you five things that will improve your texting results with women. 

1. Don’t text your life story

You text for days, weeks, months, with long essay style stories, hoping she’ll one day go “Oh my gawd you’re sooo smart and funny. When can we meet?” 

But it never happens. 

In most cases, there are really only two types of women you’ll be texting: A. Interested B. Not very interested

If she wasn’t at all interested when you first met, it’s unlikely she’d text you back at all. 

Unless you really, really enjoy amusing women over text, don’t spend weeks of your life texting them Game of Thrones length epics over text. 

A normal texting routine is about five to twenty messages, and then ask her out. 

Get to the point. You want to meet her, not have a texting pal. 

Not only is it a waste of your time, but she knows instinctively that if you have time to text her all day, you must not have much of a life. 

Assume she already likes you. 

2. Ask her out already

The reason men want to text themselves attractive is because they fear rejection. What if they ask her out and she says no? 

In my experience, you could text her for a month, every day, and she still won’t meet you. 

If she’s interested, she’s going to meet you whether you’re great at texting or not. 

Ask her out like this: 

“So there’s this great bar/cafe/attraction. It’s so fantastic/exceptional. Are you free Sunday at 6?” 

You can use a million variations of this. But at some point, you just have to ask her out. It could be a bar, a park, an event. It doesn’t matter. Just ask her out. 

If she’s down to meet she’ll say yes, or otherwise offer an alternative time/date. 

I know this sounds common sense, that if she likes you, and you ask her out, you’ll get more dates through text. But dating is a numbers game. You can spend weeks trying to text yourself attractive, or just get to the point, ask her out, and go meet more women. 

3. Don’t try too hard to be witty

If you’re inexperienced at texting women, it’s best to avoid all attempts at wit and humor. 

A witty text can be enough to compel her to meet you… but rarely. 

You probably met her at a party, she gave you her number, and now you’re making jokes about your cat, which she interpreted as “weird” or “creepy”.

Humor usually fails over text because she can’t understand the context, or the cultural references. You have no way to gauge her reaction either. You may not be texting well.

If you’re very confident with texting, you can be more witty. But then you wouldn’t really be “trying” to be witty. It’s when you feel like “I need to make her laugh or I’ll lose her interest” that most guys screw up. 

Keep texting simple. If she’s not interested, meet more women who are. 

4. Don’t open with “Hi” or “What’s up?” 

The opening text has one objective: to get a reply. 

If she’s really into you already then “Hi” or “What’s up?” will work, maybe. But if’s she’s not very interested, then these will not get you a response. They just reek of laziness. 

You want your first text to A. Give value, and B. Ask a question.

So you can give value for example by educating, or entertaining her. 

“Hi Amanda. I just saw two girls fighting outside a 7-11. Classy. Do you prefer love or war?” 

Or…

“Hi Amanda. Great day. I’m loving the smell of all this salt water. Have you been to the beach much this summer?” 

So you’re educating her by sharing your personality. You’re entertaining her by telling her about things you’ve experienced. And then you ask for a reply. 

It’s much better than “What’s up?” 

5. Always qualify her

You: “What do you do for work?” 

Her: “I’m a waitress”.

You: “Cool”.

Her: “What do you do?” 

You: “I’m an engineer”.

Her: “Nice”.

You: “What’s your plan today?” 

This is what most texts look like. Yes, he’s going for the date, but he’s also not qualifying her. What’s her personality? Does he just like the way she looks? 

You want to at least ask a qualifying question. 

Her: “I’m a waitress”.

You: “Awesome. Do you like it?” 

Her: “Well I’m just doing it until I finish school. The tips are good and it’s easy to schedule between classes”.

You: “Yeah I’m lucky I love my job. What are you studying?” 

By asking a simple question “Do you like it?” you’ve shown that you at least care a little bit about her interests, and she’s shared more of her personality with you. She’s more invested in the interaction now. 

The more she qualifies herself to you, the better. 

This is also a great way to acquire more information. The more you know about her: her interests, hobbies, dreams, likes… the better you can game her. 

Conclusion

There are many ways you can improve your texting. But for this lesson remember: 

• 1. Don’t text yourself attractive. Assume she already likes you.
• 2. Ask her out already. Don’t take three weeks because you’re afraid of rejection. 
• 3. Don’t try too hard to be witty. Humor is often misinterpreted over text. 
• 4. Don’t open with “Hi” or What’s up?” These texts just take value and offer nothing. 5. Qualify her. You can ask a simple question like “Why are you studying that?” or “Why did you choose to live here?” Anything that has her explain her actions or life choices.