“Do You Think The Term ‘Pua’ Will Ever Go Mainstream?”

Rob wants to know why the term “Pua” has fallen out of fashion.

Thanks again man, enjoyed reading your blog……I have a more general understanding of dating now etc….funny how its one of those things guys don’t really heavily talk about because if you talk about it you sorta admitting yourself that you suck (embarrassing), and that learning to improve your dating life is considered creepy (Julien Blanc incident lol).

What do you think the general public opinion of the term Pua is?(write a topic about this?) Do you think Pua will ever go mainstream?

To me when the general public hears the term Pua they automatically think its creepy/sleazy/manipulative, I believe it’s the crazy marketing to do with getting laid……I think Pua just means improving success with dating/women.

however there are right ways and wrong ways to go about doing these things and the general public just always assume the worst (lying etc..)

Regards,

Rob

Good question.

The cultural narrative for the men’s dating advice niche in 2016 is this:

• Being a guy that women are attracted to = Good/Strong/Handsome/Cool
• Studying a course on how to attract women = Bad/Weak/Creepy/Manipulator

Let’s admire the semantics of the title, “Pickup Artist.”

Fans of men’s interest writing might imagine a super charismatic man with the personal, social and sexual confidence to approach, meet and attract beautiful women, anytime, anywhere. He has choice. He has power. The current brand top brand for the term are companies like RSD, or daygame.com amongst many others. They promote independent thought and action, self-improvement and education, and an escape from groupthink. But their main focus is how to get more girls than you know what to do with. Otherwise called “Abundance.”

The mainstream imagines a creepy weasel who manipulates women for cheap sex. They see the cast of VH1’s The Pickup Artist. They hear the screeching voices of a thousand angry bloggers, talk show pundits, and sexless wimpy haters.

They loathe the idea of thousands of nerds hitting on their sisters and girlfriends with rehearsed lines and gimmicks, telling the world that what women say and what they feel are two different things.

But lonely men saw this new philosophy as hope. And the key to happiness is a bright future. It was simple: Grow a pair and step up. Time to stop seeking permission, and create your own reality. 

Too bad you can’t tell anybody about it.

Pickup is common term, but with the added word “artist,” it implies a plurality. An artist doesn’t work on one painting for life. They move from project to project. So the label ‘pickup artist’ implies you seduce women for sport. Whether that be the case or not. You pick them up, make your art, and then put them down.

It’s all about moralizing here. What woman wants to be seen as part of a dating experiment? Shouldn’t romance just happen like, randomly and naturally?

It’s the same reason men hate the term “Gold Digger.” Isn’t it in women’s best interest to find a good provider? A man with wealth, status, and personal power? Well, according to mainstream western values, seeking a man for his resources is a whore’s endeavour. You only marry for love. This is the cultural narrative.

The vast majority of Pua literature is devoid of “romance.” The reason being, most men who have girlfriends, or get laid regularly, have little use for romance because they already have their girl. Romance is something of poetry, and movies. Men are looking for answers to a simple problem: How do I get laid? As vulgar as that sounds, it’s how men actually think.

The relationship always follows sex. Our drive is to consummate the marriage. Where as women will withhold sex in order to build a relationship, and use sex as a bargaining chip.

We just don’t operate this way. So, our focus on finding sex makes little sense to them, and it seems juvenile. Why so obsessed with sex? Why not focus on a real and meaningful relationship? Is that what pickup is all about? What about love? Why all the focus on getting laid?

It always comes back to the cultural narrative

Women are precious creatures who can do no wrong. All men (especially white men) are potentially abusive, murdering, thieving rapists, and they need to learn to be good little boys (i.e. be more like girls). While at the same time, women are taught to act like, and compete with men in the workplace. So any steps we take to improve our masculinity, or our general station in life, is viewed as a threat to the balance of equality. And what is the biggest threat to women? Men.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDh4qk1Tl8k

Women hold the ultimate bargaining chip in relationships: Their vagina. So when a bunch of men learn life-hacks to get the vagina, it messes with the balance of equality. Pickup artist philosophy is mostly self-help that focuses on the desires of men—desires that most women just can’t relate to, because they aren’t men.

Pua sites are basically locker room talk

And if you’re not a man, you should stay out of the locker room. Because what you hear in there is bound to offend—the same way men get pissed when they hear women bragging about the size of their dates bank account, or their cock. We’re not supposed to hear about that.

If tomorrow Barack Obama released a state of the union and announced “Every man in America should study pickup, as it will increase overall domestic happiness and population” then overnight the subculture would go from villains to heroes. Such is the power of social conditioning.

The term Pua is still associated with fuzzy top hats, routines, psychological manipulation and negs. I hardly use it anymore, as it’s fallen out of fashion. However, the majority of my sales come from Google searches, and the culture does exist, and is growing. Prior to 2005, there wasn’t really anywhere for men to go in the mainstream, or online, for advice. Now a man just searches “pua” and there are thousands of articles, Youtube channels, and websites catering to the men’s interests. It’s a good catch-all. Pickup artists did not invent womanizing. They just put it on the internet and gave it an acronym.

It’s not the term pickup artist that makes upsets Muggles as much as the idea of men “manipulating” women for sex by using systems and psychological trickery. It taps into that evil-male boogeyman rapist fear that lies unconsciously in their hindbrains. They figure that we’re all just using helpless women for sex, and tossing them onto the street barefoot. And why do we just want to get laid? Why? Why are you…men?

Every woman has been played and used for a man’s sexual gratification. A bunch of men sharing tips on how to be better at getting laid seems kinda nasty, as it gives the “bad men” even more power.

But again, the reality is this is lizard brain stuff, and has little bearing in reality since the vast majority of pua guys are normal dudes who just want a girlfriend, or a few dozen sexual experiences. Very, very few men become world class womanizers. I know men and women who have banged hundreds of strangers off of Tinder or various online dating sites, and have never read a pickup blog.

Men are just supposed to have it, or not

There should be no learning how to improve yourself with women. It’s ok to learn about making money, or increasing muscle mass. But learning how to get laid? No, no, no.

Let’s just keep the nerds where they belong—programming video games and in a dark corridor, cleaning our toilets, flipping our burgers.

Redpill and Manosphere bloggers talk more about this sort of thing, like the culture war, etc. Pua guys are more focused on their “game” rather than politics.

Many bloggers aligned with redpill because they felt they should be able to talk about men’s interests without facing persecution and censorship, which is rampant and real. Especially since the pua subculture has left the little underground forums and is now a worldwide cultural phenomenon.

Just looking at my own analytics, Absolute Ability gets traffic from every corner of the globe, from San Diego to Mumbai (mostly guys wondering why women aren’t texting them back.) And I doubt many of them consider themselves pickup artists. It’s just what they search when looking for new ideas, advice, inspiration or entertainment.

Men’s interests aren’t being met by mainstream media. I happened to have read a lot of pua literature, and I don’t consider myself a pua anymore than a Scientologist. Neither do most. 

Pua is not a political movement

It’s just a label for macho sex advice. The redpill movement is more of an ideology. They’re sick of losing their jobs because they were caught reading an article about how to pickup up girls in coffee shops–as if their natural male desires were some manifestation of rape culture.

Bloggers are sick of having their books petitioned on change.org and called rapists…because they help guys get laid. They’re tired of being called rapists, harassers, creeps, and douchebags just because they align with traditional masculine values. So they read men’s interest blogs. 

The term “pua” might not be popular in 2016, but men’s advice on how to get girls isn’t going anywhere. And the more they try to shame and censor us, the louder our voices will become. Men will always want to pickup women, and it is an art. I believe it’s the woman’s art to learn how to keep us around. 

Perhaps we should keep our conversation the locker room, so as not to offend the ladies and their lady men—but…internet. As long as ideas are shared online, men are going to talk about bangin chicks, gettin laid, ass sex, ho’s and bitches and all those nasty terms of endearment and frustrations that women just aren’t supposed to hear.

It doesn’t mean we don’t love, admire and respect women. Well, maybe I do. But then again, I’m not a pickup artist. I’m a blogger, no, an author, who teaches men how to be more confident, or, a dating expert…no, life coach, uhhh, no…approach coach. I’m just not a pua, ok!