Western Women and The “Adversarial” vs “Cooperative” Flirtation Model

Inexperienced seducers are always looking for the proper “Game technique” to model.

They look to archetypes like online pua Youtubers, and develop their tactical approach to mimic their behaviours, in the hope of increasing their masculine attractiveness. Most of this advice claims to teach “Natural” game, but is just some version of aloof cockiness, be the prize, male dominance alpha male type stuff. Cockiness and aloofness are the behaviours that work well with most women in general, and mostly in bars, but far more-so with Western women. Running cocky game with foreign women will usually backfire badly.

Cultural variabilities must enter the equation.

Western women aren’t the only women out there. And if you think this cocky-funny, adversarial model applies to all women, you’re wrong.

The first time I travelled abroad was to Thailand. For the most part I stayed in tourist spots that were heavily populated by Western women, from Canada, USA, Australia, and the UK.

The great difference about approaching women while travelling, is that tourists are more open to meeting strangers since they’re all part of the same community: the backpacker scene. When you travel amongst travellers, there’s a certain tribal aspect that unifies, and also disintegrates social distinction.

In other words, because they don’t have any social ties to their cliques, tourists are more open to new social experiences.

Women are more dependent on social cliques than men, so it’s in their interest to be open to meeting new men, who can provide protection, knowledge, and resources while they travel potentially dangerous foreign lands.

So sure opening and hooking was far, far easier, and the women much more appreciative, but the flirtation style was the same. Western women overwhelmingly operate on an “adversarial” flirtation model; a sort of “him vs her” dominance battle where the man is assumed to be weak, and he must prove he’s not.

If you approach a Western woman you might assume she’s guarded, and skeptical of your value. Then if you pass all of her tests and exert your social dominance, you create attraction. This is why you’ll see a man and a woman arguing in a bar, only to have them make out and go home with each other. It’s more common than you think. Julien Blanc demonstrated this and attracted the rage of the blue pill media.

I used to tell women they had “Daddy Issues” or to “Leave me the fuck alone” only to have them pawing at me minutes later, telling me how funny I am. It seemed to work so much better than being polite and genuine, which was interpreted as boring and weak. I didn’t like being this way, but it worked.

In the west the narrative is the woman is dominant and strong, and the man submissive and weak.

So if you approach a Western woman you are assumed to be weak, and must prove yourself to be strong.

It was when I started meeting more women from different “foreign” cultures, like Russia, Poland, Ukraine, Central and South America, and South East Asia, that I discovered the adversarial game I’d learned for dealing with Western women didn’t work too well with “foreign” women.

Using techniques like disqualification, teasing, and push-pull on foreign women, rather than increasing attraction, diminished it.

Often I would make a cocky joke or comment to a foreign girl like “We’re too similar. We’d never get a long,” only to find her genuinely offended, where the same comment with a Western woman would make her laugh and start touching my arm.

What worked with foreign women was more of a “Cooperative” model, where we both assumed the best intentions in the other, and acted according to traditional gender roles of a masculine dominant man, and a feminine submissive woman.

Not submissive in the sense of weakness, or dominant in the sense of overpowering. But you are assumed on approach to be noble, good and strong, and must prove her right by not showing weakness. Rather than the Western adversarial model where you are assumed to be low value, bad and weak, and must prove you are noble, good and strong.

It’s the reasons I quit doing night game in Canada. I’d grown tired of the adversarial model, where flirtation seemed to be hurling mild insults and trying to outwit each other, rather than just showing confidence and social skills. As a man approaching a woman, you are assumed to be a pest, an inconvenient annoyance, rather than a potential romantic or social opportunity.

I’ve never approached a group of Russian women and had them shove their hands in my face, or had their friends grab them by the arm and drag them away, or had them mock my approach, or my clothes, or my appearance. They usually just smile and attentively listen, ask questions, and enjoy the interaction. Many, many times did I approach foreign women and over-game them by being cocky and adversarial. What seemed to work was literally just being a nice, genuine, confident guy.

It was a really mind blown moment until I realized this is normal flirtation for most of the world, and that something has gone horribly wrong at home. I realized that all “Game” is just a reaction to how traditional flirtation has failed both men and women in the West.

In the West if I approached women and was just a nice, confident guy, with an opener like “Hi Ladies. How is your night?” I’d be received with eye rolls, yawns, or outright hostility.

That’s why I learned how to pump up my emotional state and approach with ultra high positive energy, and over loaded humorous lines and a million cocky comebacks to shit tests—just to show I was worthy of talking to.

Since I started dating foreign women, I’ve lost nearly all interest in the adversarial model, and dating Western women in general. I just find foreign women more feminine, better educated, less politicized, more fun, and refreshing to date. Reinvigorating really. When I approach a woman and find out she’s from a Western country, I just bounce.

Why spend all that energy trying to prove myself to be a good man, when I can approach a foreign woman who assumes it?

That’s not to say there aren’t exceptions in Western women, and that foreign women don’t have faults. They’re often labeled as gold diggers and visa hunters, or manipulative, etc. It’s also hard to communicate complex ideas if there’s a language or cultural barrier. And there are amazing women in the West. But dating foreign women is like finding water after you’ve been wandering the desert for years–like you’ve been given another shot at dating normalcy in a culture gone insane.