Teach Men Not To Rape, and Women How To Drink
One night long ago, on a sticky dance floor
I bumped into this cute girl. Within minutes we were sucking each others tongues. There was a brief and shallow conversation followed by grinding, and then she reached down and squeezed my dick. After a few minutes of this I said, “Let’s get out of here.” I took her hand, lead her out of the bar and flagged a taxi.
As I opened the door her eyes looked sort of sideways—and she stumbled like a newborn doe finding her legs. With a huge smile she said, “Oh my god, I’m soooooo drunk!” I looked at her, then at the cab, and with a heavy sigh…closed the door and delivered her back to the dance floor. Her friends hadn’t even noticed she was gone.
Another time a friend and I pulled two pretty girls back to our apartment with the promise of after party. They performed upside down wall twerks for us, like private strippers. We did a few shots, and my friend went into his bedroom with his girl, and I went to the couch with mine. We started making out, and in between her sighs of pleasure, she whispered, “No.”
“No what?” I asked.
She didn’t say anything, so I went back to kissing her neck. Then in sultry voice she again whispered, “Nooo.”
I envisioned that scene from Lost in Translation, where Bill Murray is engaged with a prostitute who wants him to rip her stocking, only to say, “No! No! Mr. Harris! Don’t touch me!” as she pulls him between her legs. So with this girl under me I thought, does she want me to pretend to rape her? Is that her thing? Because it’s not mine.
The bdsm fetish has never been a fantasy of mine, nor most of my friends. Most of us want to be served in bed by a girl who wants nothing more than to please us. Seriously. Most of us find the idea of rape abhorrent, even in play.
And so I went back to playing with her boob. And after a few seconds of this she whispered while breathing heavily into my ear, “You wouldn’t take advantage of a drunk girl…would you?”
I sat up, looked at her and said, “What the fuck?”
We ended up watching Adventure Time while my friend got laid. And I went another day without a sexual assault charge.
And what defines a sexual assault, anyway?
The Merriam Webster definition of Sexual Assault is defined as:
Illegal sexual contact that usually involves force upon a person without consent or is inflicted upon a person who is incapable of giving consent) as because of age or physical or mental incapacity) or who places the assailant (as a doctor) in a position of trust or authority.
Fair enough. Don’t sleep with minors, your patients, wasted or mentally handicapped women (or men.) And never by force unless you have safe words and have thoroughly discussed such thing (with full email and text transcripts.)
But these things aren’t always so black and white. In my country the vast majority of reported sexual assault, in Canada at least, isn’t of the man out of the bush with a knife variety, or the gang rape on a public bus type horror. It’s usually a young man, a young woman, and a whole lot of booze. Excluding domestic and child abuse of course. Blech.
I never allow myself to get blackout drunk, as I’m not an alcoholic or a newbie. But a few of my friends and family are (alcoholic.) And when they are on auto-pilot they seem to be fully conscious and in control. But the next day they can’t remember where they went, or what they did. And they do that to themselves almost every weekend in bars.
So how is a guy supposed to know if she’s conscious, even though she’s walking, talking, laughing, dancing, rubbing her body against you and whispering sexy times in your ear?
I have a rule that if she is obviously drunk, I will not bang.
If she can’t walk straight, will not bang. Even if she begs for my dick, but trips on her feet… will not bang. And trust me, it’s sad to say no to a beautiful girl who is grinding her butt on your crotch, only to watch her leave the bar with some other guy because you’re one of the good ones. But at least you aren’t going to be a date rapist.
The rule is, if you have to wonder if she’s sober enough, she’s not
Yet in bars all around the world, every night of the week, women who are far too drunk go home with men they just met, and pass out in their beds.
According to popular media, we Canadians are living in the midst of a sexual assault epidemic the likes of which hasn’t been seen since the Mongol invasion of Eurasia. As much as I loathe rapists and want to protect women from danger, It’s also a scary time for men who like to meet women in bars, clubs or parties.
The popular definition of sexual assault has changed to the degree that if a woman has consumed more than an ounce of alcohol, and has not given explicit verbal consent prior to sexual escalation, then you as a man, however unlikely, could be charged with sexual assault.
You may not be found guilty in a court of law, but in the court of public opinion (i.e. social media lynch mobs) your reputation will be decimated.
If you are charged with rape, as a man you are guilty until proven innocent, as the cultural narrative is to always believe the accuser. These cases are just shitty for everyone, unfortunately.
I feel for victims of assault, but equally bad for men who are falsely accused. Regret, jealousy, spite, revenge. There are many motives for wanting to destroy a man’s life. Too bad these false accusers make it hard for the real cases to be taken seriously.
Before I move forward let me state the obvious. This is a men’s interest blog, so I’m not going to parrot the narrative that men must be taught not to rape. But here, I will state the obvious for my readers:
Do not bang extremely drunk women if you don’t have an existing sexual relationship
If she is passed out and you penetrate her, this is non-consensual. Even if she was grabbing your dick minutes before.
If she loses consciousness, and you penetrate her, you are a rapist. Sucks, but that’s the way it is. Even if you are pulsing with testosterone and so horny you feel like your pecker will explode. You must stop.
I believe most people are good, and most men know the difference between right and wrong. Those men that choose to take advantage of extremely drunk women, are wrong in their action. Those who forcibly assault, like by jumping out of a bush with a knife, are evil. But the vast, vast majority of men, are good. On that note:
Rape is bad.
Rapists and abusers who are caught should serve prison sentences and then be rehabilitated.
Prison is not a nice place in general—but for convicted rapists it’s a different sort of hell. Especially young, handsome ones.
I do not know anyone who is “pro-rape” or a “rape-apologist.” I do not believe I live in a “rape-culture” and I do believe that young women need to develop more than a modicum of self-control, and personal responsibility when it comes to their alcohol and drug consumption. Same goes for the actions they take and the company they keep while inebriated.
I learned how to drink when I was fifteen. I had more a few too many, and blacked out. I woke up in the drunk tank. I was lucky that I wasn’t butt-raped. But if I was, it would have been my fault for putting myself in that situation. I wasn’t drugged. I wasn’t kidnapped. I was made unconscious by my own actions, and I learned from that mistake not to drink a pint of hard liquor on an empty stomach and go exploring.
“But you’re not a survivor! You can’t blame the victim!”
Actually, I am. When I was a kid, I was assaulted by a neighbour. And I was fondled by a friend of the family. So I have my trauma. But I sure as hell don’t blame the patriarchy, or rape culture, or think all men need to go to consent camps. What happened was in the past and I’ve moved on. I am thankful I didn’t grow up in a slum in some third world shit hole where my young starfish would have been sold into slavery for tourists to bugger.
Again, rape is horrible. But common sense is good
I know how uncomfortable, and unpopular this opinion is, but I believe that women need to look out for their own safety. Many young women, and men, need to learn how to drink responsibly. I don’t see why this is such a controversial subject.
Victim Blaming is what they label those of us who speak logic and common sense. But ladies, use some common fucking sense. If you really want to men to take mandatory courses on consent, and you want feminist counsellors to teach children about rape culture, then women should take mandatory college courses on how to drink without putting themselves in danger. Equality.
“But men shouldn’t rape! Period!”
True. But it still happens, doesn’t it?
There is a reason fathers scold their daughters when they see them expressing their sexuality before their legal age…because young men are often raging torrents of hormonal energy. Mix that with copious amounts of alcohol in a society that glorifies and promotes promiscuity, while at the same time telling women they never, ever, need to take personal responsibility…for anything involving their lifestyle or sexuality—and you have a recipe for assault.
Sometimes good people do bad things, and most bad people don’t care what Buzzfeed bloggers tell them is right or wrong. They don’t care what your college professor says. They just don’t care.
I’m telling you this because I love you, ok?
It is up to your to protect yourself. Our society has laws, and systems in place for this. But for the most part, they will only protect you after the fact.
“But I have the right to wear this bikini while double fisting Vodka tonics, popping molly and grinding with strangers until 5 am!”
Yes, you do. I have the right to get wasted and walk through Mexico city alone with a Trump T-Shirt yelling, “Build a wall!” But I’m not about to do that, because it would be dumb, ignorant and irresponsible.
Whether you believe in your right to getting fucked up and expressing your sexuality should be a totally safe and acceptable behaviour…rapists don’t give a fuck.
They don’t give a fuck about your beliefs
Back to you good guys.
If you sleep with a woman who has consumed alcohol and appears even slightly drunk, and she has regrets, or cannot remember—you must not go there. You could be charged and found guilty of rape. Not just for their sake, but yours. Most women are not false accusers, but it could happen. The accusation alone can destroy you.
When I was a teenager, this seventeen year old girl, a total bombshell and known party girl, showed up drunk at our punk house. She wasn’t black out wasted, just kinda drunk, as were we. It was a party. She sat on my best friends lap, sucked on his ears, grabbed his junk, and led him to his bedroom and slept with him (we all heard it.)
That week, the rumour was out that my friend had raped this girl. She regretted her action because it made her look slutty, we figured. Luckily there were seven witnesses, including my female friends, who saved his reputation. The girl went on to be known for her promiscuity, heavy drinking and drug use.
It’s girls like that that ruin it for everyone. I’m sure my friend wasn’t the last guy she put herself in a compromising situation with during a sleepwalk.
As shitty as rape is…that happens too. Women sometimes lie, for whatever reason. Shame, guilt, anger at themselves. But not every guy who ends up in that situation with a girl is a predator. Men don’t all carry around roofies, waiting to go Cosby on you all.
But not according to modern Internet media.
Even if you’re proven not guilty by court of law, you will be destroyed by armies of Twitter activists armed with change.org petitions. If you are accused, the assault on your character and reputation will be so swift and brutal you will be left wishing you were a eunuch.
2016 in Canada is one of the safest times in history for men and women. There are no wars, no plagues, no famine, no major disasters, no roving cannibalistic rape gangs.
We have equality, law and safety in a way that history has never known
I hear stories of Isis selling women in open markets, and then see the whole world freaking about a college sexual assault case where a man was found guilty and charged as if that’s evidence of rape culture.
They profit off your hysteria. Don’t you see it?
Rape culture articles are some of the most shared, highest grossing articles on the Internet. Blogs are paid by clicks and shares, and nothing is shared and clicked more than outrage.
There are people profiting off of spreading fear at the expense of common sense. The rape culture hysteria makes people money.
But look around. Has there ever been a point in history that has been safer, or better, for women than now?
In Canada at least. That’s the truth. How about a right-on for our glorious, safe, wealthy, free, pro-equality, highly liberal country!? One of the greatest nations in the history of man.
No. According to them we live in a society that teaches all men to sexually assault women, and you are deeply oppressed. Men are solely to blame. Especially white men.
And we believe it. We want to believe it. It’s fun to believe it. It makes us angry, and we’re so very, very bored.
People are staring into their phones and absorbing Buzzfeed, Salon, Gawker, Jezebel, and other regressive liberal propaganda at rates and in quantities that would concern Joseph Stalin. They are brainwashing themselves and loving it.
The hysteria is only going to get worse, because with the Internet, whatever “proof” you seek, will be provided. Want to find racism? 9-11 conspiracy? UFOs? then your evidence is only a click away. This is called “confirmation bias.”
There is no easy answer to this issue. But if we really want to eradicate the sexual assaults that happen every weekend, in every city around the world, we will need to do more than merely teach men that rape is bad. Women need to learn that their actions also have consequences, and there is nothing sexist or misogynistic about saying so.
Here’s hoping we can all get along and have safe, consensual hookups without anyone getting hurt, destroying their reputations, or going to prison.
And guys, if you bring home that girl who is just a little too wasted, and she passes out…
Jerk off and take a cuddle.
Peace.
Dropping bombs on ideology.
Cheers to UFO culture
Wonderful read!
Great piece Tony. Agreed on all points.
Yeah. A BIG part of the problem is, with all the focus on teaching men what consent is… people aren’t teaching women. As you assert, regret isn’t rape, but young women are learning, through rape advocates, that it is, and so report regretful sex which they full consented to at the time, as rape. This then destroys the man’s life, and ultimately shows up as a failed rap prosecution in the statistics…and everyone seems to believe a report equals an actual rape, not simply a report.
does this apply to all reports, or even most? Of course not. But it happens often enough to be a problem, and compounds with the reckless drinking (not to a passed out stage, but simply to a point she can claim she “couldn’t consent” (an entirely subjective frame of reference), because they don’t understand what consent actually is.) to create a bad situation.
Then, of course, their is the reality that women can get a lot more grabby than many men (even in your story, you had two women unexpectedly grabbing at your cock)… which then sets a precedent for how them men can proceed with them… and if they don’t like it, they can destroy a man for doing precisely what THEY DID FIRST.
Women don’t feel that men are to blame. I’ve been groped, verbally harassed, threatened and permanently scarred from strangers in public and a rapist. I actually felt less fear five years ago than now because five years ago when some guy got creepy on me it was some guy… not five of them that went out looking to do that. There’s good and bad to the internet and unfortunately, the internet has brought together people that aim to hurt someone. However, it’s also raised awareness to the issue and unfortunately, seen back lash in some circles. I get that there are outrageous feminist groups nit picking about socially acceptable mannerisms but the point of raising awareness to this issue is that even if it’s getting reported more, now the people doing it are moving in groups so by-standers can’t step in to help unless they want to get beaten down as well.
I don’t believe women are reporting false rape accusations just because they slept with some guy. I’ve been there, regretted it, and you just leave and never call them again. It’s not like they’re the fucking mayor and going to tell the city about it because no one cares.
I hope you didn’t make up that accusation of your party girl friend claiming to be raped because being raped is often far more life shattering than you may think. Most men know police do nothing about it and if they don’t get penalized for it they make it their life mission to continue to stalk and threaten the victim. In my instance they went so far as to call my mother, leave her messages and take pictures outside her house. One took a picture at my nephews talent show for school. One of them was even nice enough to send 20 dollars by mail personally addressed to me to my work to pay for “the blowjob I will give him”.
So it’s pretty scary all of the time and though those are the worst of my experiences, I also have to deal with all of the other regular precautions in my life to not have to experience that again and it is absolutely exhausting to try to pretend everything is ok… because it’s not.
I didn’t really mean to write a novel about this but after reading some of your posts about being confident and strong and fashionable I thought – I’m confident, strong and fashionable and I had people try to ruin my life because they wanted to fuck me to gain confidence, strength and fashion. If they saw how their actions had actually affected my life I don’t think they would be so proud.
I’m not a “survivor”. It’s not “rape culture”. I’m the same person I always was before and after everything. And now I know that people can use my body parts as an excuse to hate me. But, knowing that, I still do good in the world. Part of that good, I guess, is writing this to you. To let you know that I don’t buy what you’re selling. That I know you see that love sees so much it can blind you. And it, nor I, judge you for being scared of it because it can kill you. And that no one can forcefully take love. It’s only given.
But yet 70% of first time pregnancies are unplanned,at least to the guy ( “oops I forgot the pill for 3 weeks”) who is then on the hook for 20 years to fulfill the baby wants of some chick.
Until she tires of him,then she gets half of all the shit he worked for,he now pays double rent and is an indentured slave who will never travel the world, or do anything but work and live in his Surrey basement suite.
Worse yet are the white knights,getting involved with single moms…paying the bills until she tires of him,then he’s on the hook for alimony AND child support for kids not theirs.
Guy I know of did this for 13 years-paid the bills,bought an SUV and made payments on that..she kicked him out last year (once the condo and car were paid off) and guess who got to keep the condo and the SUV? Not him. .I know,I’ve told him to lawyer up,but he won’t.
At 54 he’s penniless, working crappy jobs and living in some shit box low income housing thing off of Hastings. If he’d not been a pussy white knight,and managed his money he could probably be retired by now.
FFS with the common law laws that Chrusty enacted,you don’t even need to be married nor even living together full time to be taken to the cleaners by an ex girlfriend.
Yes, my place I bought years ago has gone up $200k the last year..if I had a steady non-live-in GF,she could take off and I’d have to give her $100k
She paid no mortgage,no taxes,no upkeep yet she get’s $100k.
Wonder why women here always complain ” Vancouver men never approach,etc etc” well it’s too dam risky.
I know many guys making 6 figures plus,have investments and there’s no way they want a girlfriend.
So talk about rape,but lets talk about the rampant financial and emotional abuse of men by women,it’s 1000 times more prevalant than rape.
And no,I’m not bitter..just that I’ve seen this scenario played out hundreds of times amongst friends,family,and co-workers. Myself,I avoided all that BS and now at 40 I’m looking at retiring…..
I love how moderate you try to be Tony. Im guessing you are doing this due to the incident in Stanford right?
Yeah.
Good action Tony. Not sex girl if she’s drunk. Knight in shining armour , a protector of women , u r.
Beautifully written , l may add.
I’m not sure about D. He has seen some bad women action , for sure. Was his mother nice to him ? If so , he could hv had a string of bad luck. Women r nice.
I met a woman one time that was addicted to crack cocaine ( picked her up on E. Hast. ) She told me she didn’t do drugs. She ended up back – dooring me ( $ 120 ) , & then told the cops l had drugs in my car. The cops ripped my car apart. She wouldn’t let me do – her – up ( fuck her )
So yes , D , not all women r nice. 80 % r nice. 10 % are somewhat reasonable bitches. Another 10 % are Large & in Charge , Tazmanian mini – demon , or Psycho bitch.
When u get into a car , see if she reaches over to unlock ur door. That’s how u tell.
Regret isn’t rape. Rape is rape and it’s disgusting that this article belittles people’s pain.
Thanks for reading the whole thing. You must be a sucker for punishment.
I read the entire article. How am I a “sucker for punishment”?
and a 40 year old who hangs out with people half his age at a club to go home, post pictures of passed out women he doesn’t know and blog that men should masturbate next to their date if she’s to drunk in his bed may not be a sucker for punishment but it sure is fucking pathetic.
So you would rather he lays in bed, stewing in his testosterone? That’s what leads to date rape. The pics were already available on the Internet with a simple Google search, and I don’t see why you need to resort to ageism just because some people over 40 like to party.
I don’t usually publish or answer hater mail, but I’m a bit bored today.
I mean. You hate what I have to say so much, but you can’t stop reading. you keep coming back. Not just you, but all the hater neo liberal types like you who write stupid emotional comments on my blog. You must love my blog, or you are a sucker for punishment. I mean, I don’t read Gawker and Jezebel, because I can’t stand their writing and narrative. So I don’t go there.
Ok. Sane human beings don’t masturbate next to someone they barely know while that person is unconscious. A guy can practice some self control like a normal person and will not suddenly become overwhelmed with testosterone and rape someone or else every guy from 13 to 17 would be raping girls.
As well, just because something is available by searching google doesn’t mean you should post it. For example: Googling “child pornography” does not mean that you should post pictures of it in a blog you write.simply because you brought up the fact that you were sexually abused.
Stating that you’re pathetic because you “like to party” and are 40 wasn’t my point. My point is that everyone else of your age group seems to have a meaningful career that doesn’t involve getting messages like this nor is their career based on the status symbol of having sex with people half their age because a career and sex are (if you’re emotionally healthy) two very different things.
And I do love your blog! I think it’s healthy to read and have conversations with people that don’t have the same outlook on life as you may hold. I don’t have to agree with it. What you say is not punishment for me but entertainment and insight and an open view into the world of socially maladjusted individuals. I write my comments because I hope that you realize some basic, cold hard facts about your current career choice before you really fuck up your life. Trust me, though you brush me off as a “hater” I could have been much more rude and blunt.
I don’t hate you. But I think you do more damage to the world than good (if any) If you’re viewed as pathetic and blame Google search then get hurt when someone asks you to justify your statements and you can’t you obviously don’t feel sturdy with the opinions you wrote.
Child sexual abuse is disgusting
Taking advantage of passed out women is disgusting
You decided to post numerous pictures of one but not the other
Both parties are people. Both were written about in your blog under the premise of sexual abuse. Why do you feel it’s horrible and disgusting to even fathom the statistics of one while the other you post numerous pictures about? Emotionally stable people don’t google drunk girls passed out.
Any response to any of those comments? Or are you just going to vaguely brush it off that your behavior is normal even though you tell people to jack off next to a passed out person you don’t know and post pictures of wasted unconscious girls you found on Google.
Read that sentence again.
There is no way you consider that normal.
I don’t think I said anything explicitly about masturbating next to passed out girls. I never said anything about child pornography. I just said men should jerk off instead of date raping. You could do that in a bathroom, or a closet I suppose.
I realize you want to see this article through your murky lens, but that’s not what I mean. You see, you are not a guy, and you don’t know what it means to have guy problems. Google “Blue Balls” and you’ll see it’s nearly impossible to fall asleep when you’re loaded full of semen. Ever notice a guy becomes rather docile after he cums? You see, if more guys jerked off, they wouldn’t feel inclined to take advantage of that drunk girl they brought home. This is altruistic advice. You are the one with the twisted perspective, because you are looking for nastiness. You are a magnet for it. If you focus on negativity, you will find it in everything you look at.
You are in no place to dictate what a “Sane” or “Normal” person is. You’re not a mental health worker or a taste maker. You’re just some Internet pundit with an agenda.
While you mock my choice of job, I’m am sipping margaritas at the beach with a dozen friends in the Caribbean on a months long trip. You see, I don’t take vacations. I’m a self employed entrepreneur who has written over 500,000 words, three books (closing in on four), has been featured in mainstream media numerous times, and has helped thousands of men improve their lives on, get laid, find girlfriends. So what? I should find meaningful employment doing what? Managing a Starbucks? I love this job.
My advice to you, release the cynic, let it fly free. Realize that men are not the enemy. Stop reading feminist websites like Buzzfeed, Gawker, Huffpo and Jezebel, and find your positivity. Maybe you’ll get a boyfriend.
“And guys, if you bring home that girl who is just a little too wasted, and she passes out…
Jerk off and take a cuddle. ” Is what you said then posted a picture of a man spooning a woman naked in bed which gave the impression that you meant to jerk off next to her while she’s asleep because a picture paints one thousand words. This is why the images you post are harmful – it creates a bridge from your words to extreme circumstances leaving those who read it to fill in the large gaps. When you illustrate your writing with extreme visuals like that the reader expects, before even reading it, that it is pertinent to the content and should make assumptions to correlate the two or else why would you advertise your writing with such images? A large portion of the population learns more visually than from reading.
As for “Blue balls”, yes; I am very aware of what it is and that it can be uncomfortable. I’m sure we can agree, women don’t get raped because men have blue balls or else every man would be prowling the street trying to rape any woman they could to relieve the pressure. The driving force behind rape is a specific and dangerous mixture of past sexual abuse, social and emotional instability, feeling of inadequacy and the need to pursue a persona which exudes power. Since they can’t achieve that through everyday interactions (and this doesn’t need to be dismissal of sexual advances, it sprouts from any kind of continuous life failure) they find a scapegoat of any kind to defer the responsibility that their actions, interactions and mental patterns were not the problem. However, they were because no woman puts on a halter top hoping she pisses someone off and gets raped.
I mock your choice of job because it’s teaching people that happiness comes from a tally system of orgasms while posting comments that women are to blame for men having trouble having sex when we can both agree, since you teach men what to do to get laid, that the problem is how those emotionally challenged men, socialize with other people. I also mock your job because three books released on the internet after spending, what? A year writing each one? Is not a career worthy of applause when most writers sacrifice over their work for years before releasing it. Their work also doesn’t involve a side “hustle” charging strangers thousands a day to make ends meet. Their work pays their bills because it is good writing.
You may sip margaritas while on work trips for month long excursions. I, too, have the same thing.but don’t have to work while I do it. It’s called “paid vacation” that everyone gets when they have a real career. Who works at Starbucks when they’re over 21? Getting drunk while you work was not the point. The point is that if you truly were a writer you wouldn’t have to pump out four books on the same topic in a handful of years. You wouldn’t feel that pressure to preform and output in order to justify your career.
I don’t have an “agenda”. I’m not part of any group out to get you and that seems not just paranoid but egotistical. As much as I wish I had a secret society of ninjas to do my bidding; I do not.
I have never once said, nor do I believe that “men are the enemy” because the men I associate with (single, married, young, old, gay, straight) all value me as more than a potential fuck toy. How do I know that? They’ve stuck around and hang out with me even though I’m in a seven year relationship. We create projects together and they appreciate what I contribute far more than an orgasm and know that attempting to request that would be offensive to my work.
I have never read Buzzfeed, Gawker, Huffpo or Jezebel and have no idea what those are. I forge my own opinions based on my life experience. I haven’t said anything negative. If you don’t agree with my opinions then you are finding them negative, not me. I find them quite positive and hope that they will affect you in a way that you can write more positive material about people and stop assuming that everyone you interact with, especially those with differing opinions, is less than you. That, simply, is not true – especially because I have never had to google “passed out girls” for pictures to post to try to substantiate my career..
“Maybe you’ll get a boyfriend.” I have one. If you delete all your blogs about your angry opinions maybe when someone Googles your name they wont find all your hate and you could write something meaningful to the entire population, not just a small portion of it. As it stands now, even if you managed to write a masterpiece one quick search will bring up so much sexually questionable advice and misplaced anger tied to your name that it will discredit your writing before anyone even gets past the cover. And, yes, I know you will lie and claim you have 10,000 copies sold but we all know that’s not true.
My advice to you: Stop assuming you have natural talent and get some schooling to learn to write because assuming you have natural talent is not an excuse to cease any attempt at becoming better. Remember that being cynical is completely different than being closed minded. It’s actually the exact opposite of what I have said. Which makes me wonder if you know the definition of cynical (Not a good scenario for a self proclaimed writer) Stop thinking that having a penis makes you superior over someone with a vagina because one round of roshambo will disprove that theory. Write about something that empowers you to write for more than a year. Quantity does not justify worth. I could sell 10,000 coffees as a barista and you would consider my job obsolete. If I created Starbucks you would consider those 10,000 coffees ground breaking because I made a number into a movement.
So you can sip margaritas around your dozen friends but I feel you’re not very strong at math considering that your books don’t crack 200 pages each. It leaves me thinking that even you lost interest less than half way through. If you’re going to be a complete asshole then you need to back up your opinions with jaw dropping and outstanding writing or you’re just another asshole that can’t write.
My point – stop bitching at me, taking a tally of your life, and write like you have no other choice. I would at least respect that.
Hey as long as you tell people about my writing then you can think whatever you want. My blog is loaded with positivity and good advice. You’re the one with the fucked up world view, in my opinion.
I never asked for your respect. You’re just another random, crazy Internet lady that shows up on my socials spewing angry, nonsensical opinions from some perceived moral high-ground.
I stand by everything I’ve written. If you think it’s anti-woman, or that I’ve wasted my life writing books and blog posts, then you’re too dumb to warrant conversing with further.
And if you think a two week paid vacation tops writing books and coaching, world travel and romance with multiple partners, then you are reading the wrong blog. Take your negative, prudish, jaded, snarky, spiteful comments elsewhere.
Bitch, don’t kill my vibe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GF8aaTu2kg0
First of all, a positive narrative is not posting pictures of passed out women you don’t even know then writing that they are vulnerable and at fault because “they need to learn how to drink”. A slightly more positive message that would have been more valuable advice is that if someone finds that attractive and taking advantage of someone in that state sexy, funny, dominant, or a punishment for their decisions then they need serious psychological help.
Second, it was obvious you never asked for my respect simply by writing and publicly posting this blog and let me emphasize the word “PUBLICLY” as in, anyone is able to read and asses your opinions no matter what they are because it was your choice to put it out there for the judgement of strangers
Third, I do believe you have wasted your life writing these blog posts and your “books” because they’re not well written and rely heavily on made up fantasy scenarios you concocted in order to try to prove a point to justify shitty behavior.
Fourth, if you had ever worked any job more than a year you would know that people get more than 2 weeks paid vacation which makes me question why you have been incapable of holding employment for more than a year and from reading this blog, I have come to the conclusion that you lack confidence and social skills in order to form a relationship with people for any substantial length of time.
Fifth, I’m fine with you calling me a bitch because if someone like you didn’t dislike me, I would question my own integrity. As for “Killing your vibe?” I assume you did that all on your own as soon as you passed 35, turned around to look at your life and said “Fuck. I still live in a falling apart house with five roommates and can’t even keep my porn under the bed because I sleep on a mattress on the floor.”
Seriously? What do you care what the fuck he does with his time, his money or his life? If he means nothing to you, why do you continue to write to him or read him? I am sorry, but he also didn’t infer the idea to jerk off next to the unconscious person, you did the inferring. Also, there are a lot of authors who pump out books every year, so that whole idea of agonizing over the writing authors is a stereotype. No one today is trying to write the next Great American Novel, they are just trying to survive, feed themselves and have a little fun. So I suggest, stop reading his blog, take some down time, and stop trying to tell other people how to run their lives. Both you and them will live happier lives.
Tony…….I liked the post. I thought it was well thought out, and very reasonable. Thank you.
Hey thanks Jenna. I appreciate it.