How I’m A Self-Employed Author and Dating Coach in 7 Steps

TonyD00I know a lot of you guys are interested in lifestyle design. 

***This is a longish article. Set aside ten minutes.***

I’m not running a 4 hour work week, passive income in Thailand type biz. But I have been self-employed as a dating coach for seven years.

I’m not anti-employee. You can be an employee and still be fulfilled—if there’s room for growth. It’s the sense of hitting the ceiling, or being locked to a location or lifestyle that bums men out.

So be careful that the career you choose doesn’t ensnare you. I’ve known plenty of miserable business owners. I prefer consulting and selling digital products. Low overhead, few employees, and I can be a vagabond, to a degree.

It’s The Current Year

We’re living in a time where anyone can start a website and hustle up a biz. So why not? You shouldn’t rely on corporate loyalty. The pensions will be gone. The jobs will be replaced by robots. We will all end up sucking on old men’s nuts under a bridge for peanut butter sandwiches or something.

So, you should have the basic skills to be your own boss if it all goes south.

Step one: Decide on a service, and write a 300 word sales page, then post it online

My first paid bootcamp was $400. I advertised with just a few paragraphs on Craigslist. It was like: “Do you want more success with women? Do you struggle with what to say? I’m Tony, blah, blah, blah, pay me and I’ll help you.” I sold two spots in a weekend.

Marketing wise, basic writing skills are the easiest and most important you should learn. I was lucky that my grade 12 english teacher was a good one. I don’t think I’m a great writer. What separates me from the hordes of failed bloggers is that I sit down for at least twenty minutes a day and do it.

“But I don’t have time.”

Bullshit. You do. There is always time. J.K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter in coffee shops in between full time work and single momdom. You can take a few minutes a day to learn to write.

Not interested in taking a year to learn basic grammar, copywriting and storytelling? Good fucking luck making a dime. Even if you are a YouTube sensation, you’re still going to need a sales page, a basic website and blog, and a mailing list. You better save a massive chunk of your dough for hiring writers.

Good news is there are loads of online writing, programming, web design courses, and more. Try Khan Academy or Udemy. But your local community college might be a good. At least you can meet college chicks.

Step Two: Pick a domain url, and start a website

I had no website, no ebooks, no YouTube videos. But I made $800 and taught two middle aged men how to pickup chicks at the mall off a Craigslist ad.

A  fan saw that I was wasting my talent on forums and Craigslist. So he helped me launch a basic WordPress site, which I named AbsoluteAbility.com. We registered the domain and hosted it on www.Bluehost.com. The total cost was about $110 for a year. And I was off like a horny little birdie to spread my brain poo across the Internets.

A few months and many articles later I noticed that people were finding my website on their own through SEO, which is short for “Search Engine Optimization.”

Basically, if someone Googles “Pua Vancouver” or “Dating Coach Vancouver,” they find AbsoluteAbility. But since I go on tour now, I have SEO for many cities around the world.

Guys also find me by searching “Why isn’t she texting me back?” That article brings in about 400 new readers per day. Some of those guys hire me, or buy my books.

People who say SEO doesn’t matter, are wrong. I’ve made $100,000 from SEO. You would be wise to learn it. Again, Khan Academy or Udemy. But a simple Google search for “SEO Basics” and you’ll be good.

This guy has an awesome website about blogging.

Step Three: Write

So, I quit my restaurant job and wrote every day. I offered a service in exchange for money, and people paid me. They still do.  Words are powerful. Now I have over 400,000 words, over 500 blog posts, and several published books.

Step Four: Create an offer and build a mailing list

I started a mailing list using a free service at www.mailchimp.com. That program allowed me to collect emails and create “Auto-Responder” series.

Everyone who signs up for my free ebook from the annoying pop up ad, also receives about ten emails that are timed to release automatically over several weeks. Anyone who stays on the mailing list gets to read articles that aren’t shared on the blog. This creates a relationship with my readers, like you.

Yeah it’s a lot of writing, but it’s easy if you have even a tiny spark of passion for your subject. Just do a little bit every day.

Step Five: Social Media

Most people start here, and never make a dime. Your best bet is to create content, then share it on social media. Some guys make Facebook or Twitter their main medium. But the problem is social media platforms come and go. Remember Myspace? Friendster? Etc. Gone. And so are the businesses people built around them.

Have an email list. Nobody can take that from you.

I have also dabbled with podcasting, and YouTube. My last two infield vids brought me 14,000 views the first month, and about 240 subscribers. So, I have the makings for YouTube stardom should I choose to do so. I’m just not that stoked on being recognized in public. It happens far too often already. But those are other mediums for you to market your business.

There is also Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Periscope. Use them all. I kinda hate wasting time on that stuff, but if you’re charismatic and clever, you can make some money and gain massive influence. Oh, and help people.

Step Six: Make Money

This month I’ve cleared about $10k in bootcamp sales, mostly from hustling Facebook groups and Reddit. By hustling I mean sharing my content.

I hustle most of the summer to make enough to go live in SE Asia for the winter. I’m a snowbird.

This year I want to finish another short ebook, and make at least $50k.

“But why not make $300k, or 3 million Tony! Set higher goals!”

I live a very frugal lifestyle, but I love the freedom of being a content creator, consultant and freelance teacher. I get to share my ideas and help people. Can’t complain too much. If I make enough to travel, stay out of debt, and feed and clothe myself I’m happy. I’ll make more money as I get better at this whole running a business thing.

I could drastically increase my income if I was more inclined to market properly. It’s all about web design, branding,  paid ads, sales funnels, content creation, relationships with peers, and providing consistent, high quality content and services. It’s a lot of fucking work, and Witcher 3 is so damn distracting.

If you’re an Internet marketing wizard, contact me about collaborating. I can offer you a bootcamp in exchange for work. Or we could work together on commission. Make me an offer.

The best part about blogging is how it helps you build a powerful social network. A little fame goes a long way.

Step 7: Learn more, work more

Being your own boss means doing the work, every day, and passing on the relaxation. “Plenty of time to relax when you’re dead.” Conan The Barbarian.

If I can do it, you can do it. If you hate your job, feel stuck, or just want to start a small business…you can.

Nobody is going to give you permission. Except for me…I give you permission.

Start with a craigslist ad. Start by creating a blog, or YouTube channel. Just start. Quit thinking about it and do something today.

Being Your Own Boss Rocks

The future is scary for us men. Job security just doesn’t exist for the vast majority of employees. We’re all going to be replaced by robots and liberal cultists who will destroy your career if you say something they deem sexist—so it’s up to us to create alternative sources of income.

Have your job, but have a side hustle as well.

I’m no expert entrepreneur, but I get the feeling that if I help you guys to make money, I’ll make more money, and I’ll learn—so we’ll all have more time and resources to create art, travel, provide for our families and date beautiful women.

Let me know in the comments if posts like this interest you. You can also talk to me on Facebook, or Twitter.

Now I have to get ready for my 2016 summer tour. Toronto, Montreal, San Francisco, Vancouver and Seattle are confirmed. If you’d like me to visit your city this July-August, contact me today for a free 30 minute consultation.

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2 Comments

  1. Everything you’ve wrote is on point.

    Lots of actionable advice based on real experience.

    Great post Tony – would love to see more content like this, especially getting into the nitty-gritty of how to do some of those technical things online / resources to help.

    For example starting a podcast, how to build an email list, etc.

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