Does Your Job Make You Happy?
After half a decade of living solely off my coaching services, I’ve found working within a hierarchal institution (a job) pretty fun. For now, anyway.
The new gig pays well, but it’s not really the money that makes me happy–it’s having something to do with my free time that engages me, and fills my coffers.
I don’t have to work at a regular job, because I have a small business. But when I want a break from that, I can work at a job. For some time now I felt that if I didn’t focus on the coaching biz, I would end up homeless. For years it was driving me nuts. So, I got a side gig.
It’s not harvesting resources, like free time and money, that brings happiness. Happiness is complex.
It’s about not being bored. It’s not stressing about bills, or minor purchases. You want a learning curve that stimulates growth and improvement.
You want peers that treat you with respect.
I think men tire of their jobs for few main reasons:
- They’re bored. Repetition drives them bonkers.
- They don’t feel appreciated by their boss or peers.
- They aren’t paid enough to fund a decent lifestyle.
- They don’t have enough free time to enjoy the fruits of their labour.
Every job I’ve ever had was fun…for the first couple of days.
One of the worst jobs I’ve had was cutting the sides out of these giant air ducts, hooking them up to vacuum cleaners and sucking them out.
As much as I hated it, the first few days were sort-of fun, because I was making money when I desperately needed it, and I was learning a new skill.
It wasn’t until the job became routine and my bills started to outweigh my measly wage that I came to loathe it.
There was no room for growth. You just clean ducts.
I went Factotum. I went mercenary.
I’ve had more jobs than girlfriends.
I’ve seen in countless jobs that men and women sign up with enthusiasm, and after a few months…hate it. They can’t bear to wake up each morning. It turns us into trolls. We’re just not happy.
They loathe the tedious repetition and this manifests in their work ethic, until they quit or get fired. Sometimes they stay on and make themselves sick with their misery.
I’ve been there.
It even happens to my coach friends. Even though they’re paid well, and they’re helping people, they complain about another day dealing with whiners and weaklings. They don’t really mean it, as they love teaching. It’s just part of work to tolerate the lows.
The difference in working for yourself and for a boss is that it’s up to you to create the advancement. You must innovate, or you get bored. You must remain passionate, and challenge yourself.
What makes us happy is not more money, or more women, or more free time; it’s knowing that tomorrow could be better than today. It’s knowing that you’re working towards something that will improve your life.
Right now I’m happy to have a job other than just coaching. My learning curve is steep but I have that feeling of engagement that teaching pickup hasn’t given me for years. I’m aware of how my mind works, and that I will eventually end up boring of almost every endeavour, so I’m always thinking of the next step, and I’m open to opportunity.
Gurus are always preaching the positives of mastery, but what they don’t tell you is that many masters are miserable.
Watch the movie “The Master.” It’s the story of a guru and his rise to wealth and fame in relation to his student who lacks the focus to master anything. In the end, the student takes what he needs, and moves on, while the master ends up a narcissistic, miserable, lonely, bored, control freak. The master in his solidity fails to learn about fluidity from his pupil.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ1O1vb9AUU
We’re lucky to live in an age with so many career possibilities.
We don’t have to pick one job for the rest of our lives like our grandpa did. It’s very doubtful that many of us will have one rewarding career, one wife and a little picketed fence around the house that our kids grow up in. We’re entitled,
we’re complicated and easily bored. We’re burdened with the Paradox of Choice, which leaves us like a fish caught between many flowing streams.
It’s very doubtful you will be happy with one eternal path.
Accumulate as much and as varied experience as possible, or find a career that facilitates this possibility.
Take on new hobbies, meet new people, travel to new places—try many different jobs.
But in whatever you do, do your best and strive to be a master of your trade (even if it’s cleaning air ducts). It’s the path that will fill your heart with pride—not the destination, goes the cliche.
My advice is to have a small biz, and work side gigs as well.
***I would tell you all more about what I do, but the feminazis would try to get me fired.***
***I’m available for winter phone coaching and bootcamps. Contact me now for more info.***
Great post Tony, really resonated with me.
Happiness is indeed complex, but I’ve found that there’s a difference between momentary happiness and long term fulfilment and satisfaction.
Momentary happiness can come from making more money, having sex with a hot new girl, or accomplishing some new goal like getting that great job. Over time, we get used to this new normal / dopamine rush and the pleasures fades. We keep putting in more effort to chase same or diminishing returns.
Tony Robbins once said that part of long term fulfillment / happiness / deep satisfaction comes from growth. If we’re not growing, we’re dying. This applies to our relationships, our careers, our businesses and our personal skills. I’m guessing you’re feeling a newfound happiness because you’re growing and learning a completely new set of skills.
I’m lucky enough to have a job that allows for satisfying work, new skill development and a diversity of experiences. I can also move around divisions and it’s like having a mini-career with new things to learn every few years. That said, every man should also start a side business – multiple income streams.
My advice to guys would be to not quit their jobs right away, as that’s risky and 90% of small businesses fail. Keep working your careers / day jobs while you’ve built your business to the level where you have the option to leave, but only if you want to.
Lee
Exactly.
The fun thing about taking on new jobs or divisions within, is that it gives you new ideas for your other gigs. Like, I have new content to write about.
Good point. I think James Altucher calls this “idea sex” and Scott Adams says something like “every new skill you learn doubles your chance of success.” New skills and jobs intermingle and synthesize in our brains into new ideas.