If you want to get your ex-girlfriend back, I feel for you because breaking up with your girl sucks. 

It’s worse than sucks; it’s one of the worst feelings in the world. And because our brains literally rewire themselves to align with our partners, the longer we’re with her, the more painful it is to separate. 

It’s like tearing off your arm… the one you use to jerk off. Now how will you jerk off? With the other hand? It’s just not the same. 

If you were together for two weeks, that can suck. But if you were together for two years or more, it can feel like you lost a part of yourself. 

Note: This isn’t going to be some new age, flowery advice article telling you to find your independence, let go of your attachments, meditate, exercise, rediscover yourself and spend time in nature. 

Nope, I’m giving you the hard-hitting, actionable advice, that could truly help you get your girlfriend back. 

And then I’ll tell you to meditate in the forest. 

Is it possible to get your ex back? 

No matter how deep the hole, there’s always a way back up and out. 

And you should ask yourself this question, should you break up with your girlfriend even if you love her?

But I won’t lie. Getting your girlfriend back could take hard personal work or even a miracle. 

Sure I can give you a few good texting tips, but chances are you’ve already been texting her and that’s not working. Texting her could be the worst thing to do. 

So first let’s cover a few basics for getting your girlfriend back. 

We don’t want to get our ex back just to end up in the same situation in six months. 

Rule: Don’t text her

I’ll assume your ex isn’t texting with you. And if she is, the messages aren’t helping you to get her back. 

You may be looking for that perfect magic-pill texting strategy to fix your relationship, but I strongly advise against texting her. 

Texting leaves way too much room for misinterpreting the messages. The ego gets in the way and creates an illusion that deters from the intended message. 

You might text something like, “I really want to talk to you again.” And while you feel like this is innocent, she could interpret it as you being demanding, jealous, needy, insecure, controlling… yadayada. I know… Women, right!? 

It’s way better to talk on the phone, or even better, talk in person. Even better, don’t talk to her at all. Not for a prolonged period so you can both cool off and gain the perspective only time provides. 

No contact is best for now 

Chances are if she hasn’t already blocked you, if you keep texting her she will. 

I’m just a guy with a laptop, and assuming things. But help enough guys to get their exes back and you start to see patterns. The most obvious pattern is a man breaks up with his woman, and he starts texting, which only makes things worse. 

Women are like cats, and when you chase them, they run. So how do you catch a cat? You wait patiently until they come to you for attention (however it helps to have tuna and catnip.)

You miss her deeply… I get that. But you’re going through powerful emotions, and that hole you’ve dug only gets deeper with every text, phone call, or attempt to contact her. 

Many men have tried to get their girlfriends back only to end up with a restraining order. Your emotional core isn’t the most stable at the moment. So I strongly advise the “no-contact” solution. 

Do not contact her for at least 30 days. You’ll be surprised how much a little time apart can help with getting your ex back. 

The best-case scenario is that she starts to miss you, and contacts you first. The worst case is that you she blocks you completely. 

But what if she gets a new boyfriend? 

Yes, she could hook up with another guy (if she hasn’t already.) But what do you want, a magic pill? You broke up. She’s a free woman and can do whatever she wants. And so can you. 

Chasing, pleading, begging, demanding, sending more texts isn’t going to change that. For now, you need to pull back, regroup, and make a better plan. Maybe you should go out and meet more girls. 

Don’t grind yourself down imagining her being with another guy. She’s a woman and she can get another man anytime she wants. But can she get a good man? A better man than you? Maybe not. But stressing yourself out and getting sick with jealousy isn’t helping anyone. 

There’s no point stressing about what you can’t control. So don’t get all O.J. Simpson on us. Put your mind on other things, like self-improvement, or relearning old forgotten talents and hobbies, for now. 

How to not get your ex-girlfriend back

Here’s a story about my ex girlfriend, Sugar Tits.  

Sugar Tits was super sexy and I was a very love-struck young man. Being a teenage idiot, I love-bombed her with neediness, and when she pulled away I became even more needy and insecure. 

The more she pulled away, the more desperate I became. And girls being like cats, she just continued to run away, until she finally had enough and dumped me. 

So I thought if I just show her how much I love and miss her, she’s definitely going to remember what a great fuckin guy I am and get back together with me! 

I called her fifteen times a day (no texting in the 90’s) and even left notes and flowers on her doorstep. This resulted in her blocking my number and telling everyone at school that I’d lost my mind. 

So no, I didn’t get her back. I did everything wrong. 

I was needy, demanding, jealous, insecure, and all of this because I was experiencing the 5 stages of grief. 

The 5 stages of grief and getting your girlfriend back 

Navigating a breakup can be a brutal experience for a man. Losing your wife or girlfriend can break you down and have you bawling like a child. 

And that’s okay. Get those emotions out… in private, where nobody can see you. You’re a man, so never let anyone see you cry. 

Understanding the stages of grief as you pass through them will help make sense of some of those shitty feelings you’re going through:

Denial: 

Initially, you might find yourself unable to fully accept that the relationship is over. You’ll catch yourself thinking, “This can’t be happening” or “Maybe we can work things out.” 

Denial isn’t a river in Egypt, it’s a protective mechanism that allows you to gradually absorb the reality of the breakup.

Anger: 

As the reality sinks in, you might start feeling anger. This anger can be directed towards your ex-partner, yourself, or the situation. You might feel frustrated, betrayed, or resentful about what has happened. This too shall pass. 

Bargaining: 

Now you’re trying to negotiate with the situation. 

You’re replaying scenarios in your mind, wondering if there was something you could have done differently to prevent the breakup. You find yourself making promises or seeking ways to change things in hopes of getting your woman back. 

You might start texting her, calling her, pleading, and even stalking her social media accounts, or her friend’s social media accounts. All of this only makes you feel worse. 

Depression: 

Now you feel a deep sense of sadness and loss. How did it get this far? Did you make a mistake? 

You experience feelings of loneliness, emptiness, or hopelessness. So, again… you can cry… but only in secret, and definitely not in video messages to your ex. 

Acceptance: 

Finally, you come to acceptance. The breakup happened and there’s no other way it could have went down. What happened, happened, and you’re finally okay with that. 

For 99% of cases, acceptance is the stage we need to get to before we can even consider getting our ex back. Because to try and fix your relationship at any other stage will nearly always just make things worse. 

How to get her back for real

Here it is, the best advice I can give you for getting your ex back. 

The best way to get her back is for her to miss you. 

1. Then once she misses you, she finds out you’ve been dating other women. This will stir up powerful feelings of competitiveness and jealousy. 

2. And ideally, she contacts you first. But if she doesn’t you can contact her, but not until she’s had a lot of time, and space to reflect and miss you. 

3. When she does decide to meet up again, you will be a new man, with a new understanding of yourself, and how the female mind works. 

That’s why you need an education on female attraction psychology, so you don’t make the same mistakes and lose her again. 

What Attracts Women? 

I primarily teach men how to pick up women. This means I’m an expert in “what women want” in a man when it comes to approaching, flirting, and sleeping with them. 

Women prefer men who are: Extroverted

• Fun
• Extroverted
• Positive
• Well-groomed
• Masculine
• Well-spoken
• Funny
• Intelligent
• Brave 
• Ambitious
• Creative 
• Stylish (fashion sense) 
• And fit 

So I take men who may be lacking these attributes, and then maximize their attractiveness. But that’s just the start. Because the next step is more difficult for most men. That’s approaching women. 

Men must learn how to cold approach women, in bars, malls, streets, coffee shops… anywhere. 

And finally I teach them about female psychology, which is more about what women are NOT attracted to, rather than what they are.  

Women don’t like men who are: 

• Needy
• Fearful
• Jealous
• Possessive
• Controlling
• Egotistical 
• Insecure
• Soft (of body)
• Quiet 
• Shy 
• Poorly groomed 
• Lacking style (fashion sense)

When you maximize the things that attract women, and minimize what doesn’t attract women, we have what you call “game.” 

A man with game has his pick of women. These men are rarely devastated if they lose their wife or girlfriend because they know they can find another one. A hotter, younger, more charming girl is just around the corner for guys with game. 

Because of this abundance mentality, the woman a man with game decides to be with rarely wants to leave him. It’s just too hard to find men who are as interesting as a guy with game. 

That’s because she’s programmed like a robot biologically and is susceptible to certain triggers. ONe of the most powerful is what we call “pre-selection.”

Pre-Selection

Women are attracted to men who are already attractive to women. 

Any guy knows that when he’s with his wife, every girl flirts with him. 

If you want to attract hot girls who otherwise won’t even look at you, the easiest way is by having a good-looking girl already with you. They’re hard-wired to be attracted to men who are already attractive to women. They can’t help it. It’s like how we can’t help looking at big beautiful tits.

When I did a lot of night game, I didn’t always have a girl to go out with me or one that was interested in watching me hit on 40 girls a night. So I approached the girls outside the bar, then invited them to go back inside the bar with me.

This gives the illusion that you’ve arrived with girls and increases your perceived value by magnitudes over being the guy there alone, or with a wingman.

So if you want to get your ex-girlfriend back… get other girls to date you. Then do something that shows her, like post a few pics to your Facebook page, and you’ll trigger her pre-selection and have her stewing in jealousy and regret. 

Get your ex back by learning game

Teaching you how to be great with women so that you can not only get your ex back but get any woman you want, is beyond the scope of one article. 

But I do know that if you can’t go out right now, approach women, and get a date for tonight… you’re going to have a rough time of it. 

Teaching men how to succeed with women is my life’s work. You have this website and all of its content, and also my YouTube channel, and books. 

But I believe your best bet is to hire me as your coach. 

You could join my free community or my paid mastermind group. 

All of this I could explain much faster and clearer in a free discovery call. 

Now find yourself 

There’s a big bright side to being single again: you’re single! You can do whatever the hell you want. 

While you could go out nightclubbing, I doubt it will make you feel better. 

I recommend doing things that will fill your soul with peace and joy. 

Find your independence again.

• Meditate and let go of your attachments.
• Exercise. Hit the gym and burn of that stress by getting fit. 
• Spend time in nature and connect with your inner barbarian. 

All of this will keep you away from social media, and you will feel much better. 

Conclusion: To Help You Get Your Ex Back 

The good news: It is possible to get your ex-girlfriend back. 

The bad news: It depends on how deep the hole is. 

It could be as simple as waiting a few weeks without contacting her until she misses you. Or, it could mean rebuilding your entire dating life from the ground up. 

In the meantime, explore all the options I’ve mentioned above. 

Good luck.